The Five Stages of Their Love
by Longing for Oblivion
Summary: After Elle had been shot Hotch gets aware that he feels more and more drawn to her. And when Haley leaves him it gets just that much harder... AU story with Elle staying on the team. COMPLETE!
1. Selfishness

**Discs.: I don't own Criminal Minds nor its characters!**

**A/N: Okay, so I know I haven't written any "pure" CM fanfic in a while (yeah, I'm kinda obsessed with CSI New York and Numb3rs for a while now) - but here is finally a new Criminal Minds story. It starts about a month after Haley had left Hotch, and will contain five chapters (maybe plus an epilogue, not sure about that yet). Now without any further ado have fun reading!**

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The Five Stages of Their Love

_1. Selfishness_

As Hotch forced himself to tear his eyes away from Elle's sleeping form he couldn't help but sigh. They had just closed a tough case in Omaha, Nebraska. He wondered what he should do after returning to Quantico.

Ever since Haley had left about a month ago he hated going home to an empty house. Maybe he should simply sell the house, considering that it was very unlikely that Haley would come back.

It wasn't like he couldn't understand her...After all, he had put her through quite a lot. Starting with barely being at home and his crazy working hours, over being distant with his thoughts when being there up to the fact that he hadn't paid enough attention to her and had failed to appreciate her enough.

Not to mention his behavior after Elle had been shot - his entire guilt trip had caused a lot of damage...He had tried to numb the pain he felt for getting Elle almost killed with working, becoming even more absent than ever before.

Therefore it wasn't all that surprising that somewhere along the way their love had simply faded away. But then again, maybe it had been stupid to believe that they would stay together for the rest of their lives in the first place.

But it wasn't only the fact that Haly had left him, or work that was getting to him, keeping him awake almost every night...It was also the fact that he felt more and more drawn to Elle that bothered him.

Ever since she had almost died he had started to think more and more frequently about his gorgeous, brunette subordinate.

And to make matters worse he had furthermore to deal with Gideon's leaving.

Hotch stared for a while out of the window of the FBI jet, trying to sort his thoughts out, but it was as pointless as always and it didn't take long before he focused his attention back on Elle. Watching her sleep again his mind went back to the day he had kept her from leaving...

_Flashback :_

Just as Elle was about to walk out the door of his office he called her name, causing her to stop and turn back toward him.

"What is it?" A soft smile appeared on her face as they locked eyes.

"I don't want you to leave..." Hotch admitted.

"Really?" Surprise crossed her face as she saw him nod,

"But you think I killed someone in cold blood - why would you want me to stay?"

"I want you to stay because you're such a great profiler...You're having a tough time, made a wrong decision - but we all do every once in a while. For Christ's sake I'm far from perfect as well." He sighed, adding in his mind '_After all I can't stop thinking about you, can't keep my imagination from running wild whenever I see you, damnit I'm even fantasizing 'bout you when sleeping with my wife..._'

But aloud he stated :

"The point is, leaving now is no solution...I know you, someone who wanted this job as badly as you did never even think about doing something else. And even though you might not see it that way at the moment - you know as well as I do that you don't_** want **_to leave either."

Elle let her shoulders hang, her smile vanishing.

"How am I supposed to stay when everyone thinks I'm not the least better than the UnSubs we try to catch? I mean, even you think that...You said if you had proof you won't hesitate to arrest me for murder."

He took a deep breath, he could understand her second thoughts, but he just won't be able to move on if she left, so he told her :

"The Bureau cleared ya...And concerning my opinion - do I doubt the self-defense claim? Yeah, after all, what were you thinking when you went to confront Lee?" Hotch looked at her, but his eyes were not accusing, they showed a mix of emotions such as concern and regret,

"You shouldn't have been there in the first place...If you hadn't gone there you won't have been in the position that you needed to kill him."

"This isn't just about what happened in Dayton...Like I told ya - I'm no longer the person I used to be before my brush with death."

"But you can become that person again - if you accept help..."

"Seeing a shrink?" She raised an eye-brow,

"Come on, Hotch...Do you really believe that's gonna work? I hate therapists, I hate their entire attitude, their fake understanding and interest."

"Well, psychological evaluations are standard procedure - no matter if you just shot a suspect or not. I would have asked for a full eval of you even if you hadn't shot Lee. After all, you were almost killed - in your own apartment..."

"Why can't you just let me do us all a favor and accept my resignation?" Elle wanted to know.

"Because you won't do anyone a favor if you left now. And face it - there will be a day when you will _**have**_ to talk about what happened with someone. The sooner you do that the sooner you can start getting back to normal." He paused for a moment, thinking then he added,

"Look, why don't you stay, give Dr Monroe a chance - and in a month or so we talk about this entire issue again. If you still want to leave then I won't keep you from it, okay?"

After a few minutes of thinking she nodded slowly and a smile appeared on his face.

"Good...Considering that there's nothing to do at the moment, why don't ya go home? I'll talk with Dr Monroe and this time you're not gonna skip the evaluation."

"Yeah..." Elle mumbled and went to leave.

"Oh, and Elle?" When she looked at him he continued,

"No more spontaneous trips to New York, when you're supposed to be at the office, got it?"

Elle couldn't help but grin, raising an eye-brow and giving him a challenging glance.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Watching her leave he shook slowly his head, hoping that he had done the right thing.

_End flashback_

A smile appeared on Hotch's face as he thought about the fact that by now it had been almost about a year since that day. And Elle hadn't given him any reason to regret his decision - on the contrary, she seemed to be doing fine again.

_About three weeks later :_

They were once again working on a tough case, this time in Minneapolis. There was a serial killer on the loose, the guy had already killed at least 31 women and so far they had barely anything beside the profile.

To make things worse all victims were reminding him of Elle - brunette hair, brown eyes, independent, all victims had worked in a field that was dominated by men...

He wasn't really sure why it was getting to him so much, maybe it was the fact that he was still worried about her, or that he still felt guilty for what he had let happen to her. Whatever it was it kept him not only from sleeping, but it was also the reason why he was now standing in front of the door of her hotel-room.

However, he hesitated for a moment to knock, after all, he wasn't sure if she was maybe already sleeping. Damn, he wasn't even sure what he should say when she opened the door for him - if she opened that is.

Another few minutes past before he lifted his hand and knocked against the door. It took only a few seconds before the door opened and Elle looked surprised up at him.

"I hope I didn't wake you..." He stated as he looked at her.

"You didn't...Come in." Elle smiled, stepping aside and letting him in.

After closing the door behind him she gave him a curious glance.

"So...What's the matter?"

"I just wanted to know if you're okay..." Hotch admitted.

"Why?"

"Because of the case - it's getting to you, I noticed..."

"That's not it..." Elle paused and took a deep breath,

"I think, considering that he hasn't killed in about a week, we're gonna need a decoy...And who would be better than me?"

"That's absolutely _**no **_option, Elle." He had thought about exactly the same thing as well, but he simply couldn't take the risk that something could happen to her again.

"Hotch, I can handle that - you should..." Elle started protesting, but he silenced her with a hungry kiss.

Hotch pushed her against the wall deepening the kiss further, winding one hand in her hair, while resting the other one on her hip. After a moment of surprise Elle relaxed and placed her hands at the back of his neck.

Breaking the kiss in need for oxygen he gave her a questioning glance, giving her the chance to tell him to leave. But when he saw her only smile at him he leaned down again, kissing her passionately.

_Around three a.m. :_

Elle had already fallen asleep quite a while ago as Hotch sat up. He stretched out his right hand and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, then he got up and put on his clothes. Only a few minutes later he left for his own room.

Entering his room he released a sigh. He knew that he shouldn't have done this, but he had simply _**needed **_her so goddamn much - and she had been just too willing to give him exactly what he had wanted...

Another sigh escaped his mouth when he came to the conclusion that it had been a mistake - a mistake he would repeat as long and often as she would let him.

As he laid down in his bed and tried to find to sleep he realized just how much pain he could cause Elle this way, after all, he was still married, even though it was only a question of time 'til Haley would tell him what he already knew - she won't come back.

But somehow he knew that he won't care if he hurt Elle with his behavior, as long as she wasn't telling him that she couldn't stand this anymore he won't stop.

He knew that he was being damn selfish when it came down to Elle - but he had realized that already after convincing her to stay. He knew that he hadn't done it for her sake, he had done it 'cause he couldn't stand the thought of her vanishing out of his life.

Maybe that was the actual reason why things had gone wrong between him and Haley - he had simply become a way too selfish man after he had met Elle, after he had laid eyes on her...

_Tbc_

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**A/N: Hope you liked it! Dunno when I will update - but I assume it's gonna take a while, so please be patient...Anyways, please let me know your opinion and take the time to review!**


	2. Confusion

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Well, here's the next chapter...Have fun reading!**

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The Five Stages of Their Love

_2. Confusion_

As Elle woke up she couldn't help but frown, wondering if she had only dreamt that Hotch had been there the past night, but realizing that she was naked she came to the conclusion that it had indeed happened...

A sigh escaped her mouth as she realized that it had probably meant nothing to him, after all, he was upset by the case and then there were his problems with Haley, he also seemed to have trouble sleeping considering that he looked every day more tired. He had probably only been looking for distraction, and strangely enough she was okay with that.

After another couple of minutes of thinking Elle got up to take a shower before getting ready for another day of work.

* * *

Walking back out of the bathroom Hotch took a deep breath, he sure as hell needed some coffee. He should have seen it coming, really...

How had he been able to think that giving in to the yearning was going to make it any easier for him to sleep? Exactly, he should have known that the opposite was gonna happen. But then again, nothing was as easy as he wished it was - especially when it came down to Elle Greenaway.

That sleeping with her was going to mess with his mind pretty badly should have been obvious to him, after all, how was he supposed to get finally some sleep when his naughty fantasies were already enough to keep him awake almost the entire night? How was he supposed to find to sleep now when he couldn't think about anything but that intoxicating scent of hers, the feeling of her soft skin against is touch, the taste of her lips...?

Right, it was simply impossible. Releasing a heavy sigh Hotch took a look at his watch and checked what time it was. Knowing that he had to get to the local Field Office in a few minutes he tried his best to stop thinking about the past night.

* * *

Heading to the break-room for more coffee Elle frowned for a moment. Her suspicions that Hotch had in fact not wanted anything but some distraction from his troubles were growing by the second.

She wasn't sure what she had expected, but the fact that Hotch behaved just the same as always was surprising her. Somehow she had thought that he won't act all cold like nothing had happened, that he would tell her that it had been nothing but a meaningless mistake...

But instead he acted all professional, though she of course knew that he would do that it seemed nonetheless weird to her. The moment she entered the break-room she noticed Hotch standing next to the coffee-maker, completely lost in thought.

"Hey..." She stated after a few seconds to avoid startling him with her presence.

Looking up he frowned at her, but he remained silent for the time being.

Realizing that he wasn't going to say anything Elle added after getting herself some coffee :

"Well, I was thinking..."

Hearing that Hotch's frown even grew and he asked :

"About what?"

"About the case and the fact that the trails we got are starting to get cold..."

"And?"

"I think we should give it a shot." Elle replied.

"Give what a shot?"

* * *

He was so goddamn tired, he could hardly think straight. So he had gone to get some coffee and just as he had come to the conclusion that he had gotten his thoughts in as much order as possible Elle was suddenly standing in front of him.

The moment she said that she had been thinking he couldn't help but feeling on edge - either she was referring to what had happened between them the night before or she was talking about her idea of playing the decoy, and somehow he couldn't determine what of the two he wanted to talk about the least.

Realizing that it was indeed the decoy crap he sighed heavily, trying to act as if he had no clue what she was talking about.

"Give what a shot?"

Elle gave him a look and said :

"Me playing the decoy for the UnSub, it might be our only chance to catch this guy...Or do you wanna waste another two weeks here?"

Damn, she had a point there, they were running out of leads quite fast and he wanted nothing more than catching this scumbag. However, there had to be a different way of getting him, he simply didn't want Elle to play the decoy, didn't want to put her knowingly in danger.

"No, Elle...You playing the decoy is not an option." Hotch stated firmly, hoping she won't question his motives.

Well, there were in fact a couple of reasons why he was strictly against this idea. First of all there was the UnSub's brutal proceeding, which worried him more than he liked to admit. Then of course there was the fact that he won't be able to forgive himself if he let her do this and something happened to her.

Furthermore he couldn't help but wonder why on Earth she was so goddamn eager to play the decoy for this guy. After all, he still remembered quite well what happened the last time he had let her do that on a similar case...Sure, it had been over a year since what had happened in Dayton, Elle had seen Dr Monroe and had learned to deal with what had happened - she was okay again.

And he sure as hell wanted it to stay that way! He knew that if he let her do this and something went wrong it could lead to Elle losing it again and that was simply a risk he couldn't take.

Seeing that Elle was about to open her mouth and protest he added, deciding to pull rank on this one :

"This is not up for discussion, Elle. You're not going to play the decoy for this guy - and that's my last word on this one!"

* * *

Seeing the expression in his eyes Elle knew that he meant every word, he won't let her do this...The only question was - why?

But before she was able to ask him for the reason he grabbed his mug of coffee and left to meet up with the rest of the team.

After he was gone she couldn't help but sigh. She just couldn't understand him...

Why won't he let her do this - even though it was their best chance to catch the UnSub? It was part of their job to take risks for Christ's sake! And _**he **_had been the one who hadn't wanted to let her leave the BAU after she had shot William Lee, so why the hell wasn't he willing to let her do her job?

However, even though she wanted nothing more than asking him what the hell his problem was she knew Hotch good enough to not even consider pushing him. After all, he might just be worried about her - or maybe he was actually afraid she could lose it again and shoot another UnSub...

At that thought she clenched her hands to fists, she hoped for _**his **_sake that it wasn't the latter, otherwise she might get angry enough at him to physically harm him and not the UnSub.

* * *

Hotch knew that Elle was mad at him for not letting her play the decoy, but damnit he just couldn't risk that something happened to her. However, he would of course never admit that he was scared of the thought that he could lose her.

Entering the conference-room and taking a seat at the table in the middle of the room he let out a sigh and tried to focus onto the desk at hand.

But as much as he fought to keep his attention focused on the case-file he was reading it didn't take long before his mind drifted off to the past night all over again.

It was just impossible for him to stop thinking about kissing Elle, about feeling her so close to him that he could feel her breath on his skin...Ever since they had arrived at the office this morning seeing her was all it took for him to be overwhelmed by the memories of the past night.

Whenever he saw her he had to gather all his strength and willpower to keep himself from walking up to her, from reaching out to her and simply kissing her. She was driving him insane by just being in the same room and it was getting harder and harder to resist the growing temptation.

_That night at the hotel :_

Somehow it confused him that she had this effect on him...He felt like a addict and Elle was his drug - he knew it was wrong, knew that giving in would probably lead sooner or later to a disaster...

But he just couldn't get enough of her even if he knew that he was most likely heading for complete self-destruction. He rather get whatever he could get of her, taking whatever she was willing to offer him, than nothing at all.

So now he was standing in front of her door once more. For a split second he hesitated wondering how she would react when she saw him. But eventually he knocked nonetheless, the need for her too overwhelming as that he could ignore it.

* * *

As Elle opened the door she was surprised to see that it was Hotch who stood in front of her, but then again she didn't mind his late visit - on the contrary she couldn't help but get aware of her growing anticipation when she noticed the look in his eyes.

Letting him in she was for a moment confused by the fact that she was so willing to give in to this completely forbidden longing she felt and also saw mirrored in his eyes. God, of course she knew that Hotch was completely taboo, after all, he was her boss, he had a family...

But as he closed the door behind him and pulled her into his arms, claiming her lips with his own she chose to push these thoughts away.

Truth been told she had wanted him, _**this**_, for way too long as that she would be able to tell him to stop. He had been the reason for both - her wish to leave the BAU after what had happened in Dayton as well as why she had been damn willing to stay.

However, she knew that he won't appreciate hearing any of these things. He was married, he loved Haley...Sure, she knew that he and Haley had recently some problems, but she was also aware of the fact that if Hotch had the choice to fix his marriage or being with her he would most definitely choose his family. And it was the same with his career, he was too ambitious as that he would consider choosing this between them - whatever "this" was - over his career.

As they headed over to the bed while undressing each other Elle stopped thinking about anything but Hotch, and his touch, his kisses...It was like everything else around her simply stopped existing 'til there was only her and Hotch, and her feelings for him left.

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Tbc

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please take the time to review!**


	3. Denial

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Here's chapter 3...**

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The Five Stages of Their Love

_3. Denial_

It had been now almost two months since what had happened bewteen him and Elle while they had been working on that case in Minneapolis, and even though they had by now spent quite a couple of nights together he was nonetheless not sure what he should do about it, about "them"...

What he knew was that he refused to call the thing between them a relationship, and he sure as hell won't accept the term "love" to be used for describing his feelings for Elle.

Hotch sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to force himself to focus on his paperwork. Sometimes he wondered why Elle was so willing to simply give him so much more than he could wish for and not expect anything in return, but he was incapable of figuring it out and he most definitely won't ask her.

One thing was for sure it was getting harder and harder for him to focus on work - especially when Elle was around. Whenever he saw her he couldn't help but observe her every move. Luckily for him she didn't seem to notice or at least she didn't mind him watching her like that.

* * *

As Elle entered her apartment a smile appeared on her face. It had been a quiet day, no psychos to hunt down and even though she hated doing paperwork she had really appreciated it this time. She had enjoyed to have the opportunity to get her thoughts in order.

And if she was lucky Hotch might come over later...

Elle couldn't help but sigh as she started thinking once again about her supervisor. Sometimes she wondered why the hell she felt so drawn to him, why she would give simply her everything to just be close to him.

Damnit, when she had started working with the FBI she had sworn to herself that this would never ever happen to her, that she won't let herself fall for her boss - especially if he was furthermore married, that she won't get involved with someone she worked with...

But here she was, sitting on her couch, waiting - praying to hear a knock at her front-door and find him standing in front of her when she opened. It was stupid, it was completely irrational, it wasn't like her...

However, she couldn't help it, couldn't turn him down, couldn't resist taking whatever he was willing to give her. She didn't mind that it was for him just an escape, or at least that's what she tried telling herself, but it was getting harder and harder everytime he kissed her, everytime he touched her she wished that it could be more for him than just a li'l meaningless fling to forget his sorrows for a while.

Hearing a knock at her door her smile widened and she got up to open.

* * *

He had debated with himself all the way from the BAU office to her place whether he shouldn't just head home instead, however, he couldn't help but give in to that burning yearning for her proximity.

The moment she opened the door and smiled at him he was completely lost. When she stepped aside to let him in it took him a moment to actually move, being way to overwhelmed by her smile, the sparkle in her eyes...

After she had closed the door behind him he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace before kissing her passionately. He felt Elle resting her hands at the back of his neck as she kissed him back with just as much passion.

He had to admit that he had basically been thinking about nothing but her in a felt eternity, having her in his arms now was exactly what he needed for calming his mind a bit, 'cause he knew by now that as soon as his lips met hers, the moment he touched her his mind stopped functioning properly - and sometimes that was simply for the best.

* * *

Her eyes flew shut the moment their lips met, wanting to simply enjoy every second she was able to spend with Hotch like this. Feeling him so close was enough for her to know that she would never be able to survive losing what they had...

Sure she tried to deny how much she depended on what he was giving her, but it was just getting slowly too hard to keep it from him. However, she was determined to not tell him, considering that she would probably lose him if he knew.

Somehow she wished they could simply talk about this entire situation, but they never did. Though she could understand why Hotch refused to discuss whatever they had.

He was her boss, if people at work found out about this it could ruin both their careers - especially his, so even if he wasn't married they could never really be together considering that they were both way too ambitious as that one of them could leave the BAU...

So they kept denying that there might be more than just something sexual.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I know it was quite short but I just couldn't come up with anything else to put into this chapter. Anyways I hope you like it nonetheless...Please let me know your thoughts and REVIEW! I'll try to update soon again, but I'm kinda busy with my other stories so I can't promise anything...**


	4. Acceptance

**A/N: Thanks for your patience! Here's finally the next chapter...**

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The Five Stages of Their Love

_4. Acceptance_

It had been a very long, very tough week and all Hotch wanted now was forgetting all of it - especially receiving the divorce papers right in front of his team. Well, he had known that he would eventually get them, considering that Haley had made it pretty clear that she didn't see a point in trying to work things out.

Heading to his car he couldn't help but sigh. Maybe he should try to see the positive side of it - after all, maybe this thing, he and Elle had, had actually a chance now that Haley had filed for divorce.

But even though he couldn't deny that he would be happy to give it a serious try, it hurt to know that he had failed concerning his marriage. And then there was Jack, he knew that he would see his son now even by far less than before and that thought pained him.

Getting into the car he tried to forget his problems for the time being, after all, he had plans for the night. He had plans with Elle to be more presicely, though she had no idea of that fact yet. As his mind wandered to Elle a grin appeared on his face.

The truth was he loved her, there was no way he could keep denying that fact. He wasn't sure if he should tell her though, considering that he was her supervisor...But then again it was pretty likely that she was going to find out anyways and furthermore it was the only right thing to do, to tell her how he felt about her.

After a moment he shook slowly his head coming to the conclusion that he should stop worrying about it. The worst thing that could happen was that Elle wasn't feeling the same and he would make a complete fool of himself, but he doubted that would happen, _**hoped **_it won't happen...

* * *

Elle couldn't help but feel somehow sorry for Hotch. She knew how terrible he probably felt about what had happened earlier. However, she couldn't understand how Haley could do this to him...

Sure Hotch had been very absent and all, but that he got the divorce papers at work was just all kinds of wrong. Hotch simply didn't deserve that! And she didn't just think that way because she was in love with him, though he of course had no idea of how she actually felt about him.

As her thoughts drifted off to that thing she and Hotch had a sigh escaped her mouth. Considering that they never talked about 'them' she had no idea what they actually had with each other and she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand the uncertainty, but nonetheless she refused to bring the topic up, being unsure whether she could stand it if he told her he wasn't feeling the same.

For a moment she wondered if she should call him and ask if he wanted to come over, but that thought became unnecessary as she heard someone knock at her door.

Getting up she couldn't help but grin and went to open.

"Hey..." Hotch greeted, a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey yourself..." Elle stated cheerfully and stepped aside to let him in, then she continued,

"I wasn't sure if you'd come, after..." But he silenced her with a kiss.

She felt his arms sneak around her body and she leaned closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder after they broke the kiss.

Eventually she asked just above a whisper :

"You're okay?"

* * *

Her question sortta startled him, so he remained silent for the time being as he contemplated about how to answer. Was he okay?

Thruth been told he wasn't sure about the answer. The last time, hell ever since he had met Elle his life had been like a rollercoster ride, and even more so his emotions - especially after she had been shot and it had hit him how he really felt about her...

But feeling her in his arms a small smile appeared on his face as he bent down and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. Another moment passed in silence, then he replied while letting his fingers slide through her hair :

"Well, I guess so..." And after a few seconds of thinking he added, refering to the events of the day,

"I mean, it's not like I didn't see it coming..."

She lifted her head and looked at him. He caressed her cheek for a while before leaning in and kissing her once more.

"Listen Elle, I think we should finally talk about this entire situation..."

They locked eyes for a few minutes and Elle nodded softly as he got a hold of one of her hands. After they had taken a seat on the couch she gave him an expectant look, waiting for him to talk.

Thinking about how to approach the topic he looked at Elle, who was sitting in front of him, her right leg drawn to her chest while the left was hanging down from the couch, her arms were wrapped loosely around her right leg, her head was slightly tilted to the right as she observed his every move.

He stretched out his hand, caressing softly her cheek and started :

"Well, to get right to it - I'm in love with you..." Seeing the surprise in Elle's eyes he couldn't help but smirk,

"Yeah, I know it's a crappy time to tell ya, huh?"

* * *

Hearing that a small smile appeared on Elle's face as she felt a wave of relief wash over her and she said quietly :

"No Hotch, it's not..." She paused for a moment then she admitted,

"Cause to be honest I feel the same way..."

"Really?" An expression of complete disbelief crossed his face and Elle couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yeah...I love you..." She assured closing the space between their faces and kissing him softly.

"Glad to hear that..." He smiled cheerfully at her and leaned in for another kiss,

"So...Maybe we could give it a serious try? I mean, sure I'm your supervisor which makes the situation sortta complicated, but I think it would be worth it nonetheless, don't ya think?"

Her smile widened as she noticed the expression on his face. The uncertainty she saw in his eyes and simply everything about the way he looked at her in this very moment was just damn cute...Okay, well, the word 'cute' was probably not exactly the right way to put it, after all, Hotch wasn't 'cute' - sure he was handsome, attractive, amazingly good-looking...But 'cute' was certainly not qualifying for getting on her list of 'how to describe SSA Aaron Hotchner'.

"Of course I'd love to give it a real try..." She started.

"But?" He grinned at her.

"But do you think this is a good time? I mean, with everything that's currently going on..."

* * *

Instead of replying he simply kissed her passionately. He had hoped she would agree to give it a shot and he was sure that it was going to work, no matter what...

As they broke away in need for oxygen he saw the questioning look Elle gave him and he released a soft sigh.

"Listen Elle, I know what you mean and I can't deny that it will probably not be easy at first, but I love you and I wanna be with you..."

He watched her frown and he could tell that she was deeply in thought about something so he remained silent for the time being.

"Well, basically nothing would change, right? I mean, the only difference between now and the passed few months is that it's now clear that this isn't just some meaningless fling or something to either of us..." She gave him a questioning glance and he nodded in agreement,

"Okay, let's give it a try...I mean, why not..."

_Later that night :_

As he watched Elle sleep a happy smile crept on his face. After the crappy beginning of the day and the thing with the divorce papers he hadn't thought for once that the day could end like this. But then again, life was full of surprises and this entire dilema with Haley had to have _**something **_positive, right?

A few minutes more passed as he reflected on the recent events and let his fingers slide through Elle's smooth hair, before he closed his eyes and surrendered to the need to get finally some sleep.

And somehow he knew that from now on he would get much more real rest, knowing that he didn't need to keep worrying about where this entire thing with Elle would go. There would be no more nights of lying awake and wondering about whether he should tell her how he felt like in the passed months. He knew now that Elle felt the same and maybe they could really be happy...

He was certain that Elle would never judge him on his working hours, or his unwillingness to open up at times like Haley had done. Elle was accepting him for the person he was, just as much as he accepted her for who she was - no matter how small or big the flaws of the other one were, they understood each other in a way no one else ever could.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: I hope you liked it! There will be one more chapter - however, I decided against writing an epilogue considering that I think that the following chapter will make a great end for this story...Anyways, please let me know your opinion!**


	5. Complete Happiness

**A/N: Here's the final chapter! Enjoy...**

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The Five Stages of Their Love

_5. Complete Happiness_

Unlocking the front-door and entering Elle's apartment Hotch couldn't help smiling. As he walked into the living-room Elle looked up from the book she was reading and smiled cheerfully at him.

"So, you're done with all the paperwork?" Elle asked, while watching him walking up to her.

"Sort of...I came to the conclusion that the rest can wait 'til tomorrow..." Hotch replied and sat down next to her, then he suggested,

"How about ordering some food? You pick..."

"Sounds great...Italian?" Elle said after a moment of thinking and they locked eyes.

"Good idea." Hotch agreed and leaned in to share a soft kiss with her.

"I'll go and get the menu..." With that Elle got up and left for the kitchen.

While waiting for Elle to return Hotch reflected on the passed two months. Ever since he and Elle had agreed on giving it a serious try things had changed...He was much more relaxed now that he didn't need to worry anymore about whether she felt the same or not. Even the stress of the divorce wasn't really getting to him as much as he had thought it would.

"A penny for your thoughts..." Elle's voice interrupted his thoughts, causing his smile to widen.

"I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you."

Hearing that Elle grinned at him and sat back down.

_Later that night :_

As Hotch was lying next to Elle he wondered once more about the future. The truth was he couldn't imagine to lose Elle one day, couldn't imagine being without her anymore. Somehow that fact scared him, after all, he wasn't used to depending on someone - he had never depended on Haley the way he depended on Elle being in his life...

After another moment of thinking he stated softly, not wanting to wake Elle in case that she was already sleeping :

"Elle?"

Elle turned to look at him and wanted to know :

"What is it?"

"Well, I was thinking...You know, about this with us..." He paused and studied Elle's face, then he went on,

"I think it's getting time to tell the others. I mean, the divorce is almost through and beside the fact that I hate hiding our relationship, I doubt that we will be able to keep it from them for much longer anyways..." In fact Morgan as well as Rossi had already asked him what was going on with him, considering that he was so much happier - even though he was currently getting divorced.

After a few seconds of thinking Elle nodded and told him :

"You're right, they will probably figure it out rather sooner than later...But are you really sure you wanna do this? After all, even though you're almost divorced you're still my supervisor - if people at work find out that we're seeing each other it could cause a lot of damage to your career..."

"Elle...I love you, and if being with you means to make sacrifices concerning my career I'm more than willing to do that, okay?" Hotch stated in return and they locked eyes.

"Okay..."

_Two days later :_

They had just closed a quite gruesome case and like on numerous occasions before Morgan had suggested that they should head out and have some drinks together, before calling it a day.

So now they were all gathered at a bar. JJ was playing darts with Reid, and even though she tried to let the young genius win from time to time, it was obvious that no matter how smart Reid was - he didn't stand a chance...

Morgan was dancing and flirting, causing Garcia to go on one rant after another, which caused Elle and Rossi to laugh, while Hotch couldn't help shaking his head.

Some things just won't change, would they?

After half an hour JJ and Reid returned to the table, debating about why he had won only one out of thirty games.

They were still arguing about it when Morgan joined them ten minutes later.

Now that the entire team was sitting at the table Hotch gave Elle a questioning glance, causing her to nod slightly. He had wondered the entire last 48 hours about how to tell the team about his relationship with Elle - and if he was honest he still wasn't quite certain how to approach the topic, so he simply settled for just getting right to it.

Taking a deep breath he started :

"Listen guys, there's something I gotta tell you..." He paused for a moment to make sure that he had everybody's attention,

"I know, you've already wondered why I'm recently so happy - and to make it short - it's because of my relationship with Elle."

"Finally!" Morgan exclaimed and grinned, apparently not the least surprised.

Garcia just looked from Hotch to Elle and back again, mouth and eyes wide open. Reid smiled, being obviously happy for them and Rossi didn't really show any reaction.

JJ, who sat to Elle's right, on the other hand smiled cheerfully and stated, while hugging Elle :

"I'm really happy for the two of you!"

_Tbc_

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**A/N: Okay, I know the chapter sux, but I went pretty much out of ideas and just wanted to get it done...**


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